An Impeccable Choice

Excerpt from Come Dance with Me,
Inspirational HÜMÜH Buddhist Stories

This past January, I received word that my beloved great-uncle was terminally ill and had been admitted into hospice care. He had always been a central figure in our small, close-knit family, but having lived to the impressive age of 99, his impending death did not come as a surprise. Having lived most of life in close proximity to my family, I rarely missed family events, and at a moment’s notice, I could visit a sick relative or lend a helping hand in some way. But now, living at Skycliffe, I was more than 2,000 miles away, and we were about to begin a Transcendental Awareness Class that I did not want to miss. Consequently, the decision of whether or not to fly back home to see my uncle one last time took some consideration. As I looked at this situation, I could feel the habitual energy start to kick in. It showed itself as an urge to immediately fly home just because that’s what I had always done in the past, and perhaps my family would expect it, or I expected it of myself. But this time, I wanted to do things differently. I could see that to follow the habitual path would be to go against my heart. My heart wanted to be at Skycliffe, and intuitively, I felt that I could be of more help to my uncle in his time of transition if I stayed at Skycliffe. However, I wasn’t sure exactly what I could do to be of service to my uncle and to have some closure on our relationship, without making the trip. But this time, I wanted to do things differently. I could see that to follow the habitual path would be to go against my heart.

At that point, I spoke with Wisdom Master Maticintin about the situation in order to gain a fresh perspective from the overview. The Wisdom Master suggested that I spend a few hours composing a heartfelt letter to my uncle, recounting fond memories of him and expressing gratitude for what I had learned from him. Then, I could e-mail the letter to my brother and have him read it to my uncle at his bedside. I followed the Wisdom Master’s suggestion and wrote the letter, but before it was completed, I received word that my uncle had passed away. Undaunted, I completed the letter. Later that evening, it occurred to me that I could still e-mail the letter to my family and ask that it be read at the funeral service. This idea truly resonated with my heart as a way to participate in the service without being there physically. Writing the letter had been such an uplifting experience that I was at peace with my decision not to attend the funeral. By writing the letter, I had been able to express my gratitude and prayers for my uncle’s happiness in a way that left my heart feeling very full. As it turned out, my family was very understanding about my not being able to attend the funeral, and they were also receptive to the idea of having the letter read at the service. In fact, my cousin readily volunteered to do the reading.

After the funeral service, I heard from several family members who said they were touched by what I had to say, and they felt it was a fitting tribute to a man who had meant so much to our family. While I appreciated the positive feedback, I felt the most important part of this experience was that, with the Wisdom Master’s guidance, I was able to follow my heart and truly act for the good of the whole. Had I traveled back to my hometown, I doubt I would have taken the time to write such a letter. Very likely, I would have been caught up in the busyness of family gatherings and lost sight of the purpose of the trip: to honor the memory of my uncle. By remaining at Skycliffe, everyone had benefitted. I was able to keep my commitment to my spiritual goals, and at the same time, share my heart with my family.

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